Things have changed since then-and that’s the hardest thing for you to come to terms with. It won’t happen because your ex doesn’t value you and desire your presence as much as he or she used to. As long as you make your ex feel those emotions, you can forget about your ex wanting to communicate with you. You may not be together anymore, but to your ex, you’re still the same person who made him or her feel certain unwanted emotions. He or she has been downright miserable, so you can’t expect your ex to instantly forget the past and pretend that all the problems are gone. To say your ex has been unhappy is an understatement. Your ex now associates unhealthy emotions with you because your ex hasn’t been very happy in the relationship recently. The way your ex perceives you and feels around you has been greatly affected by the breakup as well. If you expect your ex to talk to you like before, you need to know that the title of your relationship wasn’t the only thing that’s changed. Space makes dumpers feel free whereas contacting their dumpees or being contacted by them traps them and makes them feel overprioritized and pressured. This is why they broke up with their exes in the first place. They are expectationless, detached, and genuinely at peace as they like having the freedom to do anything they want. But that’s not why dumpers go silent.ĭumpers have nothing to teach and prove to their exes. They think their ex is silent for reasons a person in a relationship would be silent – to express hurt, anger, or disappointment and to feel cared about. They assume that the breakup speaks for itself and that the dumpee should pay attention and take the hint. They want this not because they want revenge but because no contact allows them to stop feeling responsible about the person they fell out of love with and gives them a chance to finally do what’s important to them (hobbies, friends, healing, dating, etc.).ĭumpers feel smothered and don’t think they’re obligated to explain why they need space and what they expect from the dumpee. The enthusiasm to do that has disappeared alongside their romantic feelings and expectations.Īll dumpers want and expect after the breakup is a long cooling-off period of no contact. No longer do they want to text or talk about their daily lives. Most of the time, they want the dumpee to understand their feelings (or the lack thereof) and stay away from them completely. When dumpers end a relationship, they typically don’t want to be friends with their ex and hang out as if nothing happened.
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